Yesterday was simply amazing. After a 4+ week hiatus from attending any church service of any kind, I decided it was time to go back. After all, the guy with the South African accent, John Sheasby, was supposed to be at church, and he's always got something off the wall to say. I decided it was time for a return, and I was not disappointed.
I went expecting. Actually I had directed God to let his message be a sign for me that would give me some piece of confirmation, information, direction, or whatever as to what is going on in my head and with my desires. Let me repeat, I wasn't disappointed.
I don't usually remember the details of his messages. I just absorb them into my soul. His interpretations of the scriptures, which are so fresh and different from ANYTHING with which I grew up, stick with me and resurface when I need them.
I do remember last night's service, though. He began talking about sowing seed and how the farmer doesn't DO anything to make the seed grow. It either grows or it doesn't, all by itself. No elaborate plan or scheme to help the seed get out of the ground as a plant. From that, we made our way to the story of Jesus calming the storm, but he didn't follow the usual preacher path into how if we trust Jesus he will calm all our life's storms. He said (I'm paraphrasing into redneck) that if the know-it-all fisherman boys would have ASKED Jesus how he wished to get to the other side instead of ASS-U-ME-ing Jesus intended to cross in a boat, then maybe they would have ALL walked on water and there wouldn't have been a boat on the sea in a storm with all the fear and nausea that entails.
Then he mentioned Abraham's boat. What??? Abraham didn't have a boat! Yeah...he did. He and Sarah didn't believe God was capable of giving them the promised son, so they "built a boat" of sorts when Sarah offered and Abraham agreed to "plant that seed" in Hagar. That boat was essentially a shipwreck waiting to happen, and only after it wrecked did Abraham agree to trust God and walk on water.
I was pretty excited. I got the message loud and clear. I knew I had used the walking on water metaphor as part of my recurring dream interpretation. (And by the way, I have not had that dream since discovering its meaning.) I also realized that I have been as nervous as a cat in a dog pound as to what I will do to continue to provide a secure future for my family. I have been searching for boats (forget building one--I was willing to get a ready made). Yet God had plainly told me that I was about to walk on water--or something less wet, but just as capable of swalling me and suffocating me. After all, this IS West Texas, and there isn't much water to walk on.
I left the meeting in awe of HIS power and mine. I came home and told my husband that I knew God had been pushing me out of my comfort zone for some time. He's been preparing me to walk away. He has told me this year will be my last year in my current position. Last night He told me that I don't need to worry about how it will happen. When the time is right, He will reveal the water and together we will walk across to the other side. Quite honestly, that's exactly how every job I've ever had has come my way. I have never had to go after a job. My current job was created specifically with me in mind. It didn't exist before me. Other jobs have come when I wasn't looking or when I was looking in a different direction.
Last night, I had a slightly different dream. My bed was back on the edge of the cesspool/sinkhole thingy, but this time the old barn that covers the hole was partially torn down. Once again I had to arouse myself enough to remind myself that God had promised this would not cave in. Every step I took in that dream was ever so cautious. Over and over I reminded myself that He said it will not cave in. Together, we were tearing down that old barn that had surrounded the cesspool. Parts are still standing, but much is now gone from the original structure that was in my previous dream. Everywhere the structure had been removed, my faith in the solidness of where I was standing grew stronger.
When I awoke this morning, I asked for the meaning of the "tearing down" part. What He revealed to me was, "I am tearing down what makes this appear to be shaky ground."
Interestingly enough, my husband and I have just completed the demolition and removal of an old leaning garage off of a piece of property God has recently given to us. The walls are down, the trash is pretty much gone, and a solid piece of concrete is all that remains. I wonder what the connection might be? I bet He will tell me at the perfect time.
Stills from the shoot. :)
7 years ago